Hello friends! Today I want to start by asking you all a question, and I want you to be honest. What words would you use to describe yourself? Now, what words do you think those who love you would use to describe you? Are they the same? Similar? Or completely different? Speaking from experience, my friends and family have always had better words to say of me than I have had for myself. Even when they say these things, I do not fully believe them because as soon as they tell me how beautiful I look, I see myself in the mirror and am reminded of the weight I need to lose. I look at old pictures and cannot help but wish to look like that again. So, it is hard to believe what they are saying is true. But why should it be that way? Why can’t I get a compliment and not only believe they think of me that way, but think of myself that way too? Why can’t I fully accept it from them and myself?
A little back story on myself, I was in gymnastics from the age of 5 and being in a sport like that you are expected to look a certain way. Well, I never looked how a “normal” gymnast would look and writing this post, I realize that played a big part in my body image issues growing up. I was never straight up told that I did not look like the typical gymnast, but I was treated a lot different than the other, “smaller” girls and I noticed that incredibly early on. This played a huge part in how I felt about myself because I was conditioned to think that worth was based solely on how you look.
Fast forward to now, I am just shy of 26 and this conditioned way of thinking is still so engrained in my head. I know it is not true and I know it is not right, but…this habit is an extremely hard one to break. Even so, that is exactly what I am hoping to do, and I am hoping that is what these next few posts can help you do as well. Let us break these toxic ways of thinking and viewing ourselves and learn to love the season we are in now. And trust me, I know it is easier said than done but baby steps are all I am asking for right now. Let us build up our self-worth one day at a time.
Until next time,